Middle of the night. I’m up around 3a. Dog walk, late dinner, an [unpleasant] unfamiliar smell wafting through the hotel. I am feeling drained. Body seemingly taking a lot of hits, whether it’s sleep or musculoskeletal or other, and something is irritating much of my system; I’m hurt a lot these days. Even up to my cervix, it is more than uncomfortable. As if raiders were pillaging my health all over.

Some time later…

Weight loss mode while waiting for IVF circumstances to improve. Eating much less. Workout stabilization and sustainability efforts unless overhurt. Still sending out messages and searching for my next space. Thus far some short term stays (the last one farther south rather unpleasant- would not repeat- theft and drain and general mismatch for the circumstance).

This one, a day or more in, far better in many ways. The space is more mine, more welcoming, more peaceful. More pet friendly. More good smells on first entry, even if now it’s food or pups or hair product or whatever else. Still, less than a month away, I’ve no spot to settle into yet.

Today has been carby without much regret; the weight loss is on track (I am successfully down 7lbs this month already), and it is one rainy day where I’m still under the weather and tucked into blankets. A bazillion things from the pharmacy or doctor to help, and soon enough I’ll emerge from my pile of blankets and be out in the world. Some much needed rest, some much needed screen time.

I’ve enjoyed The Love Hypothesis quite a bit and looking toward my next watch. Very cute, and a welcome entertainment while I am inside recouping. I’m thinking about getting back to the dating app, though I would rather my life be more settled; work, school, a place, there is so much in flux to draw focus and offer less stability. However, there hasn’t been much stability and reliable growth offered these post pandemic years- more hardship, more medical, more being single. Some less than desirable additions while I try to love the good things and supporters. I haven’t been enjoying the subtractions much: house, yard, space, storage, social life, partner, income were all affected, reduced, or removed. We’ll see how the dating thought goes after I’m feeling better, perhaps, and through this round of antibiotics. Then another AMH retest, see where I am this cycle on qualifying for the study that would cover the IVF bill completely.